I wish I could say I hate you for what you did. For putting my hopes up, only to have them shot back down again. But I can’t, because I don’t hate you. Not even a little bit.
I already knew about you and your ‘bad reputation’. And I thought that by putting my walls up you would eventually get bored with me and move on. I thought that would cause me less heartache. But it didn’t. It only broke my heart more than it should have. Because you found a way through my walls… and just as I was about to put them down, you backtracked on me. Fortunately, I hadn’t fallen in love with you. I was getting therebut thank god I hadn’t. Because if I did, god, I’d never forgive you. I’ll give you some credit though, you
DID break my heart.
But that wasn’t entirely your fault, it was mine too. I was afraid of getting my heart broken that I was being so difficult. I was so busy overthinking everything you say that I forgot to appreciate you. And so, I want to thank you. For your kind, beautiful and comforting words that made me feel so special even though it was just for a short while.
I’m happy that you found your girl, R. Honestly, it still breaks my heart when I think about how she knows the parts of you I wish I had gotten to know. Beautiful parts of you I would’ve known if I’d just let my guard down and let you in. There’s no doubt that you’ll always be my biggest regret. I just hope you won’t give up on her when things get rough. I want you to fight for her. Never give up so easily because you know she’s worth fighting for. Always remind her what she’s worth. And don’t ever make the mistake of letting her go.